LEARN TO LOVE AGAIN

Most of us had the “luck” of ending up with a broken heart, right? And I think it is safe to say it isn't a fun experience. Every relationship is different and has its challenges, and even more so when starting a brand new one.

A person who has been in a relationship for years and ends up single, may find it more challenging to meet and connect with someone new and these challenges may sometimes be the reason why we give up hope on finding love again. Embracing love again starts with us, finding inner peace within ourselves again.

 

One thing is certain though, if you aren't willing to let-go of the past and attempt to start over, you are setting yourself up for a lonely existence.

Learning to trust and love again, starts with a healthy emotional state of mind otherwise you might end up with more problems that you definitely don't need. 

It is vital for our emotional state to grieve and accept. Grieving and accepting may take some time, but that's okay. Some people often make the unconscious mistake of suppressing their emotions and choose not to think about the past and its mistakes.

 

Everyone has a past and we all made mistakes, and we will continue to do so, that’s just part of human nature. Our emotions are what allows us to fully understand and show us how to move forward.  Emotions are a number of things like happiness, loneliness, fear, sadness, anger and the list go on, but whatever emotion you’re feeling just let it out. If you need to cry, laugh, or need time alone then do it. You will be surprised to see what it does for your mentality.

 

Take time to heal

If your heart and soul tell you that it needs more time to heal then you should probably listen and just allow your heart to be healed completely. Instead of bouncing from one dead-end rebound relationship to another, make new friends (friends, not friends with benefits meaning lovers). Those types of “friends” will only prolong your recovery and will make it harder for you to forget an ex.

Our hearts are so fragile, and they need to be cherished. So, if you are immediately going to start a new relationship, it will most probably be for the wrong reasons, and you are setting yourself up for another failure and a broken heart.

Always remember your worth

Doubting our worth could possibly be one of the main triggers that prevents us from opening up our hearts again to love. This is because of the fear we have of being rejected or made fun of. We all have made mistakes; it is just the way of life. If there is one person in the world that has never made a mistake, then maybe they aren't from this world (I’m just saying).

Don't be afraid to trust yourself and your inner being, because self-doubt may lead to loneliness. When you doubt your self-worth it becomes an obstacle to your inner peace, harmonious and respectful communications with others as well as loving relationships. 

Remember love is not only for the rich and famous, but also for everyone and even the rich and famous make mistakes. Having made a mistake does not define your worth, and it should definitely not keep you from knowing your worth.

Share your feelings

Not everyone is comfortable sharing personal and intimate details about their lives with anyone. Some (like me) find it rather difficult to trust certain people with private details of their lives, but when you are going through a very tough and difficult time is it advised to either note down your feelings or gather courage to talk to someone trustworthy, (and I do mean trustworthy) because let's face it, not everyone will have empathy or sympathy  for you or your situation. Studies have shown that talking about our feelings with someone we trust, reduces physical and emotional stress and strengthens our immune system.

  

 

Keeping a diary has also proven to be very beneficial for your mental well-being, as it can serve as a portable vent station where you can express your feelings and process perplexed circumstances (and it is trustworthy).

  

Relationship Standards

Have you ever come across a person who had just broken up with someone this week and next week they are in a relationship with another and the next week they’re single again? Well, if you have - and asked yourself ‘What is wrong with this person?’  It is simply because they are used to a certain type of person or relationship.

If you have been in a relationship with a person with a kind personality and you start dating someone who is quite the opposite, it is going to take you a very long time to get used to the new person's personality, (unless you just don't care). 

Rebound relationships are most often a recipe for disaster. Seeking a new partner when your head and heart are still in the process of “mourning” will do you more harm than good, as the “new relationship” is being entered for all the wrong reasons.

 Maintain your relationship standards by avoiding getting involved with someone who is all wrong for you. Rather stick with what you know, believe in and what is good for you. 

If at any stage you end up with someone you’ve never been attracted to, maybe it's best to stop and think about your standards. 

While some may disagree with me and I will admit that not all rebound relationships end disastrously, just remember never sell yourself short to anything lower than what you're used to especially when it comes to relationships.

Take it step by step

Healing emotional wounds is possible and it all starts with you. Always remember improving the quality of life does not mean you have to heal 100%. That expectation is unrealistic and can somewhat be overwhelming.

There will be setbacks, but that is part of the healing and growing process. Be patient with yourself and try to push through even when it is difficult. Not everything you do will be perfect, that is why you should understand your healing process may take time and to accomplish this, you need to take it step by step.