HOW TO TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR EMOTIONS

TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR EMOTIONS

Just imagine a time when we are stress and worry-free when we feel at peace, content, and relaxed - it seems like heaven on earth, right? Sometimes it seems impossible, although psychologists might disagree; creating a space or environment where your mind is not ridiculed by jealousy, sadness, and anger is possible. Let’s dive into what we can do to take charge of our emotions.

First things first

Anger Management

Traditionally women aren't supposed to get angry; it is seen as disrespectful and in-feminine. This may be the reason why women cry more instead of being confrontational. This doesn't necessarily reflect on women only, some men also get to the point of emotional-tiredness.

Never push your anger aside, it is rarely a good idea to suppress anger, because it could lead to building up anger sooner or later it will eventually explode. Try to find the source of what is causing your anger and ask yourself ‘What do I need to do to fix it’. Cool off before confronting the person or people who have caused your anger, I know it seems easier said than done, but trust me it is the best method to find a solution with them.

Anxiety

Anxiety is a reaction to feeling scared or unsure. It can be so intense that some people find it hard to move past it. According to doctors, one out of four people suffer from anxiety disorder. When we suffer from anxiety it can lead to panic attacks, chest pains, racing heart, dizziness and ultimately you could end up in an emergency room. 

The best way to prevent or overcome anxiety is to be “prepared”. You need to prepare yourself for an interview or if you are an introvert and there is a group meeting or meeting new people, try to prepare yourself for that specific situation. 

Irrational thoughts are what experts call ‘catastrophic thinking’. This is when you believe the worst will happen, thus enabling anxiety. 

Whenever you feel anxious, take deep breaths to reduce shortness of breath or a speeding heart.

Guilt

Guild is what we feel when we have done something wrong or have plans to do something that we know is not right - like calling in sick for work, having an affair, or doing something to someone you know is inhumane. Or you think you are incapable of providing for your family. Those are just a few of the things we feel guilty about. Confide in someone you trust or the best is not to do something that will make you feel guilty.

Know your emotional strengths and weaknesses

If you are feeling physically “off” it is a clear sign that your emotions are out of balance. Negative emotions are the result of negative symptoms. 

Certain emotions such as anger and jealousy, are some emotions people aren't comfortable with. Clinical psychologist Dr Vivien D. Wosk, says people often transfer their energy to another emotion such as anger or guilt- as soon as that happens the guilt will overwhelm them.

It is also important to show emotion to others. It doesn’t necessarily mean you have to throw your ‘toys out of the cot’ or be submissive, it only means you should always say what’s on your mind.

One thing I have noticed is when I am alone or in my head space, negative thoughts creep into my mind. And they do find a way to make me feel vulnerable and scared. And trust me these negative thoughts are powerful. I have eventually convinced myself to spend more time with others rather than be in my own space all the time and believe me it has done me the world of good.  

We all have different ways of coping with our emotions and one strategy is to disable negative emotions by socializing more, working longer hours, or exercising. 

Emotional Inventory

Before starting our emotional skills journey, we need to take a quiz on ourselves. This is a quiz we need to answer to ourselves. You can assess yourself upon completing this quiz.

• How often do you express your emotions to others?

• What are the most likely things to do when you are sad?

• How often do you ask someone for help?

• What are the things you are interested in? (hobbies)

• Does your spouse or family support you?

• Do you find yourself doing or completing things?

• How often do you feel joy, happiness, guilt, sadness excitement, or love?

• Do you feel physically well-rested?

Those are just some of the inventory questions we need to ask ourselves.

Get a diary

This is nothing new, many people find it easier to keep a journal and write about their thoughts and feelings rather than talking to someone. All of us have a wide range of emotions that guide our actions. Understanding what’s happening deep inside ourselves is important and keeping a journal is a good start. Recent studies have proven that people who use a journal feel better about themselves. Even psychologists and psychiatrists have started to include journal writing as part of their treatment method. Don’t complicate it by not knowing where to start, you can write as much or as little as you like, and remember to add dates. Write anything that comes to mind, because your journal won’t judge you. And if you want to make your journal more personal, try to personalize it by adding a design to your taste. 

FINAL THOUGHTS

Allow yourself to feel whatever emotion you are feeling. Emotions come and go, don’t push them away or suppress them. Laugh when you're happy, cry when you’re sad, and be angry if you need to be, (but to a certain extent). Be good to yourself without feeling guilty. You are the only one that can bring out the best in yourself. No one chooses to feel the way they do; so just accept your emotions, you need to understand that you choose the behavior as a reference to that specific emotion.